Archive for the ‘Things That Annoy Me!’ Category

Yes folks, I am going there.
Men and the courtesy flush.
If you are not aware of what the courtesy flush is than I assume you are a man.
Women, we know what a courtesy flush is.
And we utilize it.
For those who are not educated in this task, a courtesy flush is that extra flush you give after doing your business in order to remove any leftovers from the bowl or it can be utilized mid-task as defined by Urban Dictionary below

A flush in the middle of the toilet-sitting process in order to reduce the aroma…usually performed on a “foreign throne” as a courtesy to the owner of said throne… in other words, to be polite and not stink up the host’s crapper too much.

Many of you may ask what has led me to discussing this topic.
I will be honest with you,
it was a recent trip to my parents house in which my mother questioned my father’s abilities to utilize the courtesy flush.
In her own words, she “didn’t need to see that!”

I know I am not a fan of floaters or other remnants being left behind even when they are my own so really, why would I want to see someone elses?

It’s like walking into a public restroom and being ready to vomit because of the smell. Or throwing open the door to a stall only to find leftovers from the previous patron.

For women, we are known for perfecting the courtesy flush as a tool to lessen the embarrassment and to protect the theories that for women, 1. Our shit don’t stink and 2. We don’t poop….ever.

So, why is it so hard for a man to do his business and give us the same courtesy we give him.
In my home, the men have yet to use a courtesy flush but are currently in the process of being schooled on how to use the air freshener when they are done.
Once this task is mastered, I plan on giving a lesson on the courtesy flush.
(Because really, you can only teach a man one thing at a time.)

Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote the post about what being an adult feels like?

Well, this week, I feel even more like an adult.
Why?
Because I spent today calling insurance companies and getting estimates.
Again, why you ask.
Because this happened to my pretty red car, that I paid off 3 weeks ago, last night….

Yep.
My pretty red car now has a big boo boo.
I need band-aids.
Lots and lots of band-aids.
The Hardworking Hubby was behind the wheel driving the DramaQueen to dance, thankfully they are both okay.
Sophia (my car, yes…my car has a name) on the other hand is in severe pain.
She doesn’t have any working lights on the passenger side and when she turns her tire gets hung up.
We’re just playing the waiting game with the insurance company of the idiot driver who hit him.
Or should I say his parents insurance company.
Yep.
Almost 40 year old man, driving his parents car, plowed into my baby.
That I JUST paid off.
I got 3 estimates on the damage today and they range from $1999-$2600.
I just want it fixed.
Now!
We were already down to one car and now neither can be driven so the Hardworking Hubby has to rely on coworkers to get to and from work this week.
This is the suck.
Pass the band-aids and tequila please!

This is my rant about all of the TV shows I have begun to watch over the years, fallen into really deep like with only to turn around and have them cancelled before I know how they ended or they left me with eleventy billion questions!

1. What About Brian- I’ve recently been re-watching all the episodes of this show and wish I knew how it ended.  From what I can tell, here is what happened to some of the characters from this show:

- Marjorie leaves Adam at the alter, returns for a brief stint and then joins the Witness Relocation Program remains a doctor and becomes Ellie Bartowski who marries Captain Awesome

- Brian finds a new love interest and changes his name to Todd in hopes that the new WHOman in his life will not realize he has MAJOR commitment issues.

-  Deena and Dave’s marriage comes to an end and she runs off with a hot surgeon and changes her name to Morgan, only to have her latest husband fall in love with a beautiful red headed NeoNatal surgeon.

2. Deal or No Deal- ( PRIMETIME—you know, the GOOD one!) I think this is something we all want to know…..WHO.THE.FUCK.IS.THE.BANKER.

3. Runaway -   Only 3 episodes of this show aired but it has left me wondering what happened to the Radar family and who they really are.  Who knew that Donnie Wahlberg and his family were on the run using fake identities?  At least we now know that Donnie is safely back right where he belongs, Hanging Tough with the New Kids on the Block.

4. Gilmore Girls – Where do I even begin this one?  I have sooooooo many questions!  I HAVE TO know, do Luke and Lorilei end up together in the end?

5. Joey – How are we supposed to know if he ever really made it as an Actor?

6. Veronica Mars- We were left hanging!

7. My So Called Life – My first beef with this show having been canceled after 1 season = JARED LETO!

8. Third Watch – The finale was rushed and had an anti-climactic ending — I want a redo!

What are some of your favorites that have been cancelled?

Where do I begin to tell the tale of Christmas 2009?

Do I start with the part where on Christmas Eve-Eve, my husband deserted me for sleep along with all three of our children leaving me to be the person in charge of wrapping the remaining presents, getting everyone’s clothes ready for the impending festivities, gathering all of the items necessary to travel for the day and drive my mother to work at 6am so we could use her truck and have more space available to us. Did I mention that while I was doing all of this I somehow for got to sleep?? Yeah. It’s true. I worked on folding laundry, cleaning up the house and who knows what else until my mother arrived at our house at 5:45am so I could bring her to work.

I dropped my mom off at 6:00am.
The weather was shitty.
It was raining/snowing/sleeting on the morning of Christmas Eve.
At one point on my journey back to our house I almost spun out in my mom’s truck.
….shhhh…..don’t tell her…..she will FLIP!

Upon my return home that morning, I attempted to take a little cat nap prior to getting the kids up.
That.Didn’t.Happen.
By 8:30 we were all showered, dressed and loaded into by mom’s truck.
Just as I started the truck and waited for Hardworking Hubby to make sure the house was all locked up….
we had a moment of clarity….
We.Locked.Ourselves.Out.Of.The.House.
Yep.
There we sat, in our driveway at 8:30am on Christmas Eve locked out of our house.
The spare key we gave my mom…..it didn’t work.
Our landlord….out of town.
Our keys and garage door opener…..in our house.
Talk about a fabulous day.
We said fuck it and left.
Off to my in-laws we went.

I just received a phone call from Sperm Donor #1.

It was the 1st I had heard from him since I opened a can of Whoop Ass on him 2 weeks ago.

I was less than thrilled to see his name on the caller id.

I admit it, I thought about ignoring his call and sending it straight to voicemail.

Apparently I am in a good mood today and I answered his call.

He asked that I have Zman call him when he returns from school.

I told him I would inform Zman of this but I also told him I couldn’t promise that he would actually call him.

You see, Zman is not to fond of his dear old Dad right now.

Yeah. There was that time when he lied to Zman and the numerous times he has let him down.

Therefore….the boy of mine….not to impressed with his Dad.

I continued my conversation with Sperm Donor #1 and asked what he wanted to talk to the boy about.

I am not about to force my kid to call someone he doesn’t want to talk to just so he can give my kid a guilt trip (because that’s exactly what he does).

He said he was calling to find out what Zman wants for Christmas.

Again. Imagine my surprise.

Christmas with Sperm Donor #1 has not been all that exciting over the last couple of years.

He has promised my son all kinds of things during the holiday season and has never followed through.

Let down after let down after let down.

I’m pretty sure Zman won’t pick up the phone to call Sperm Donor #1.

I thought it was even funnier that about 30 seconds after I got off the phone with him, my phone rang again.

This time it was The Good Ex-Wife.

She was inquiring if he had called me because she had just heard from him.

He was an absolute dick to her.

As far as I am concerned, he is just an absolute dick who has A LOT of growing up to do!