August 3rd, 2009 | 
Author: Many of you have already had the pleasure of hearing me piss and moan in regards to a family members wedding shower. For those who have not, here is a little background info. (All names of people involved other than myself or my Hardworking Hubby have been removed).
The Hardworking Hubby’s favorite aunt (that we all love to pieces) is getting married this month and he is in the wedding party. In June, there was a joint coin shower for the bride and groom. Prior to the shower there was a get together to plan the shower, however neither the Hardworking Hubby, myself or his sister (who is also standing up) were able to attend. My MIL went on our behalf and explained to everyone involved that we were not able to make a large contribution in terms of money, and was assured that the cost of everything would be kept low enough—right around $20 per attendant. Each attendant was also responsible for bringing 3-12 packs of soda, a case of beer, a dessert, a salad and a bag of chips.
Fast forward to the day before the shower.
As we are driving home from a doctor’s appointment for Tatertot, I receive a text message telling me that we owe $57.50 for our portion of the shower costs.
(Yes, a text message the day before!)
Again, for those of you who know me are also aware that we operate on one income and budget everything out months in advance. $57.50 is a full weeks worth the groceries for our family of 5. Notifying us of such a large expense 24 hours prior to the party did not give us enough time to plan for the expense.
My Hardworking Hubby kindly informed the family member in charge that we would not be able to pay that day.
Everyone caught up???
So, early last week, I received this email from the family member in charge:
Hi ______ & _______
We still have not received payment from you yet of $57.50 for ______’s
portion of the wedding shower. Could you please start sending payments of
$10.00 every pay period, until it is paid for. That would be greatly
appreciated. Please reply.
Thanks,
___________
I of course was appalled. I didn’t respond.
Until today when the Hardworking Hubby received this text:
Hi _____ still waiting for a reply on the $ that is owed for the shower. Sent email to
_______ n no reply. If u dnt rspnd $ is expected at the wed
_________
(And of course the text came from her daughter, not her)
Receiving this text fueled my fire. I have already had enough issues about the way this shower was planned, the way the bride and groom were treated and how offended attendants had become.
So, what did I do????
I replied to the original email.
What did I say???
Read it for yourself:
______,
You can continue to ask and badger us for the money from the shower and we will continue to tell you that we are not paying it. When the planning was originally made for the shower, we were told that the cost would be kept low (around $20) for each attendant. We will not contribute for the cost of having a DJ at the shower as that was a total surprise to all the attendants other than yourself and _____. Secondly, we all chipped in for food and beverages yet you managed to hoard everything that was left over and then reused it at both _______’s birthday party and after the parade. Also, that entire shower was a joke as your daughter managed to make it all about her and NOT the bride and groom. We have spoken to the bride and groom regarding ‘owing’ (and I use that term lightly) you this money and have been told by them on more than one occasion not to pay you. What you do not seem to understand is that $57.00 is A LOT to our family. We are a family of 5 that survives on one income and that money is enough to feed us for a week. Unlike you, we are not able to go out and splurge on new cars, houses and pay off other family members debt let alone our own. You can rant and rave all you want about how we are able to afford a Wii (which I won online in the beginning of 2008) or how we are out doing this and that but really—it is none of your business what we are doing. Had you have had the common courtesy not to wait until the day before the shower and throw it in our faces via a text message (which by the way, is not only rude but tactless as well) then we would have been a little more prepared and had been able to plan for the added expense. Now, due to these other considerations (and the fact that you continue to hound us) we will not be paying you now or at the wedding.
Thank you,
A & A
Do think that was too much or just right??? Trust me, I had thought of making it nastier! I sent the reply and have yet to hear back. However, if I do, I am sure you will hear all about it!
DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!!!!!!! I already told my Aunt and soon to
be Uncle that I will try to avoid drama at the wedding that is
why we sent the email now instead of telling them off in person
there. I hate the HAVES being money grubbing parasites to
everyone! While the HAVE NOTS are just trying to make it the
experience of a lifetime for this wonderful soon to be married
couple. And, I was the one that wanted to make it even nastier
than my wonderful wife ever could because of the long list of
family drama between my immediate family (Mom, Dad, Sister) and
the HAVES. I would have just left it at FU!!!!!
[Reply]
mmm…tough call.
I probably would have paid the amount that
was discussed and told them to KMA for the rest.
But I like your way too, lol;)
[Reply]
I am absolutely appalled that a family member would have the audacity to send such a tactless message to you/ husband. We all know things are tuff for many at these times. People who have it all have NO clue how it feels to NOT know how you are going to feed your children at times. I never thought I would be fighting to keep my head above water at 43 but when one loses a job unexpectantly – shit happens and you move forward the best you can. Those people need to shove their heads straight up their asses – DO NOT PAY THEM BACK! F-them! I love you Annie girl and I know you hard you and hubby work to make the best life you can for your family… be the better person…… and laugh! I can hear your beautiful laugh!
[Reply]
I get why you’re pissed, but I’m just shocked you can feed a family of 5 on $57 a week!.
That’s creative shopping and planning!
[Reply]