Open Letter #2

Posted by Anne on April 28, 2009

Dear Door-Door Roller-Blade Wearing Flyer Delivery Guy,

While I understand that you are paid to go door-to-door and leave flyers hanging on every doorknob in town, I do have a few complaints that I wish to share with you.

First of all, I do not appreciate you wearing short shorts (really short shorts) while you are in the workplace — it frightens me and I fear that something might “pop” out and scare not only me but my children and I am trying to protect them.

Secondly, not only do you deliver the above mentioned fliers on roller blades and in really short shorts, you listen to music on your old school walk man and sing rather loudly to the hits of the 80’s while in the workplace and let me tell you, your customers and co-workers……they do not enjoy it.

Third, honestly how many fliers for cash advances, lawn care, cellular service and nail salons do you really think we need?? Between the fliers on my door and the emails in my Spam box, I think I have things more than covered.

Lastly, just because you saw me come outside to get the mail and walk back into my garage to go back into my home, while leaving my garage door open, DOES NOT give you permission to enter said garage and leave a flier hanging on my garage door.

Now, Mr. Door-Door Flyer Roller-Blading Delivery Guy you may ask what would I like you to do to correct this? For starters, do the entire town a favor and wear some clothing that actually covers you from the waist to at least the knee. Also, stop singing when you’re wearing headphones because in all honesty…..you look like a jack-ass! Next, maybe you should pay attention to the no soliciting sign on my front door! Lastly, stay out of my garage….nobody invited you in!

I’m really quite tired of picking up garbage fliers off my porch, lawn, mailbox and now my garage. If you keep leaving them behind I am going to follow you home one day and then when you go to bed at night, I am going to put every flier I have on your door and yard and see how you like it!

Thank you,

mommy…mommy…MOMMY!!!